Place the saltine crackers into a 2-gallon zip-top bag or a large container with a tight lid. If possible, stand the crackers vertically like books on a shelf to help the oil mixture run between them and coat more evenly.
1 box (16 ounces) saltine crackers
In a medium bowl, whisk together the neutral oil, dry ranch dressing mix, crushed red pepper flakes, garlic powder, onion powder, seasoned salt, black pepper, and any optional smoked paprika, cayenne, and sugar until the ranch powder is dissolved and the spices are evenly distributed.
1 1/3 cups neutral oil, 1 packet (1 ounce) dry ranch dressing mix, 2-3 tablespoons crushed red pepper flakes, 1 teaspoon garlic powder, 1 teaspoon onion powder, 1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt, 1/2 teaspoon black pepper, 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika, 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper, 1-2 teaspoons sugar or brown sugar
Taste a tiny drop of the seasoned oil mixture on a clean finger. It should taste a bit salty, very savory, and fairly spicy. Remember the heat will mellow once distributed over all the crackers; adjust salt or heat to your liking.
Pour the seasoned oil evenly over the crackers in the bag, drizzling along the sides and between the rows rather than in one spot. Seal the bag well, pressing out as much air as possible to prevent leaks.
Gently turn or roll the sealed bag over several times to distribute the oil without breaking the crackers, then lay it flat at room temperature. Let the crackers sit for at least 3–4 hours, turning the bag every 30–45 minutes so the oil and seasoning absorb evenly.
For the best flavor and texture, allow the crackers to rest 8–12 hours (overnight), continuing to turn the bag occasionally. The crackers should go from looking oily to dry and crisp as they soak up the seasoned oil.
Once the crackers look dry and evenly coated, transfer them to an airtight container, jar, or serving bowl. Serve immediately or store at room temperature until ready to enjoy.
For extra toasty flavor and crunch, spread the seasoned crackers in a single layer on rimmed baking sheets and bake at 250°F (120°C) for 15–20 minutes, stirring once or twice. Let them cool completely before serving or storing.